Thank God for my Passion

Fear not, for I have not forsaken you. I’ve just been very busy. Fortunately, my real life has everything to do with my more abstract interests. Lucky you.

I’ve never been the kind of person who wants to be good at things. I’m very rarely competitive, I’ve never been dedicated to improving any certain skill or feature. Contests have never been any sort of incentive for me to do well, and I’m alright sucking at math. However, there is one thing at which I want to constantly improve; one aspect of my life that makes me want to work harder, brain storm, problem solve, and fine tune. Duh, I’m talking about teaching.

I was never a good student in high school. Learning was dumb, high school was boring. I didn’t push myself in half the classes because they were so easy I didn’t need to. The other half, well I didn’t push myself in because they were hard and I knew mediocre work would get a B. I talked, I giggled, I disrespected, I was not perfect. I was not the first of my kind and I promise I am not the last. These are the students I gravitate toward: the disinterested, the confused, and the socializers. They’re annoying, but I know they’re not bad and I KNOW they could do something amazing with their lives.

So what the eff does this have to do with God? Everything. Because I’m genuinely grateful for his blessing of my inherent desire to teach. People spend years searching for a life path. Some people are miserable with the paths they’ve chosen. Others are just kinda satisfied enough not to leave but miserable enough to hate their lives. I’ve never had to do that, I’ve just always kinda known. And I don’t mean since I came to college or since I was in high school, I’ve always known. I had a chalk board as a kid, I taught my stuffed animals. I wrote them tests. I wrote tests for my stuffed animals during summer break. NERD.

Of course, I didn’t really “know” I wanted to be a teacher. It isn’t scientifically observable, a doctor didn’t find the teacher gene in my DNA. Nobody forced me to be, my parents encouraged me to follow all my dreams. I had a few awesome teachers but none of them saved my life or anything. I just had this belief, this feeling in my gut, this desire. I just knew. “Knew.”

Now here I am, yelling at a bunch of stinky 6th graders and I could not be happier. I’m so grateful, so very grateful to have that. Weird, huh? I can imagine plenty of people hating what I want to do, but every second of stress and pressure and confusion in that classroom is a blessing to me.

Now I know you’re thinking “but betch, aren’t you the one who worked so hard? Aren’t your parents the ones who helped you?” Yes and yes (and thank God for them, too. Lord knows I didn’t do shit to deserve them). But I’m not the one who instilled this love, this passion, and this devotion. Trust me, it’s out of my character. Even if I possess characteristics which can be scientifically linked to successful teachers, it still can’t explain my love for it. I don’t even know what “it” is that I’m so passionate about. I can’t even explain that.

So yeah, there are all kinds of people who love their jobs and give no credit to any person or entity other than themselves (thank God I’m not one of them, too.) But at the end of the day, the joy I get from being in a classroom is utterly inexplicable to me and I’m fine with that. While some may say it’s coincidence or luck that I have such a passionate devotion to such an unglamorous job, I cannot possibly believe that this joy, this desire is coincidental. No stinking way.

So when I’m driving home reviewing the day’s events and the sunshine shines through my dirty windshield and warms up my skin, I thank God for my patience, my understanding, my compassion, my dedication, and most importantly, I thank God I am a teacher.

Love you, bye!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. rockomnibus
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 02:59:46

    Amen for such passions, and for people who wholeheartedly bathe themselves in them. A rather poetically unorthodox manner of effectively getting your point across. You said a lot in a little space by digging down deep. Nice, Andrea….

    Reply

  2. everythingdowntoascience
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 06:22:33

    I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. 😉

    Reply

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