The Ten Commandments for Modern Day American Christians

 I deeply apologize for my extended absence. I haven’t forgotten you, I promise. I won’t make excuses. But, I must admit that this particular post is borderline lazy. It’s not that I’ve not been thinking or writing, I have over a dozen drafts saved, but they’re still swirling around in my mind and I certainly do not want to be hasty. I came up with this little ditty last night. I was thinking about how sucky it is that Christians have such horrible stigmas attached to them (for instance, that Christians are logicless gay-hating republicans). Then I was thinking about how I wish people wouldn’t have these stereotypes, although I can’t really blame them. Then I got to thinking about how I wish people didn’t claim Christianity then consistently and loudly exhibit the very behaviors which we are distinctly encouraged not to exhibit. I got to thinking, as I have many times before, about how many “Christians” are SO QUICK to forget the ten commandments, THE TEN COMMANDMENTS for goodness sake, and instead focus on incredibly random, relatively underplayed sins, but not the ones right next to those random relatively underplayed sins. Yeah, I’m talking about the gays. So, in order to keep up with the times, I took it upon myself to make a new set of commandments. You know, a little easier to follow,

1. You should spend as much time as possible working for money and things, despite the morals or family time you may sacrifice.

2. Ehhh use my name in vain. OMG NBD.

3. Look nice to go to church on Sunday, pay attention to the sermon if you can, then go home and get really into sports.

4. Give to charity if you can afford it after the $300 heating bill for your $400,000 dollar house and put $50 in the tank of your $25,000 SUV to take your kids an hour away to a mall to fill up their closets with clothes made by people whom you most likely say need charity.

5. Don’t kill people unless the government says you can.

6. Don’t steal unless done legally through a corporation.

7. Work really super hard to buy all those really cool things your neighbor has that you saw on tv.

8. Porn is fine, so long as it ain’t gay (girl-on-girl ain’t gay)

9. Don’t listen to anybody, not even your parents, cause this is America and we can do what we want.

10. If you find it difficult to follow any of these, just disregard it and refuse to grant other sinners the rights you have.  

So there you have it. Just when you thought that claiming Christianity couldn’t  get any easier, it has. So now when somebody tells you that your religious reasoning is seriously flawed because you pay no mind to six of the Ten Commandments, you can just show them this. Odds are, they don’t know what the original Ten Commandments are, anyways…I had to look them up 🙂

Love you,

Bye!

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Aside

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. RonT247
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 21:34:32

    Hi Andrea, I’m a new to blogging and are going down the religion route because of my believes. I stumbled across your blog and found your version of the 10 Commandments actually very interesting… BTW – I know the 10 Commandments. But the point that I’m actually want to make is that, that is Exactly the way the modern “Christian” behaves!!! Beside the point, as you rightfully pointed out, people don’t know the Commandments in the 1st place. And is our Heavenly Father impress with the fact that people call themselves “Christians” and do not have a clue what He actually says how to life our lives in His Word? And people wonder WHY the so called Christian Nations are in the state that they are in???

    I’ll get off my soap-box… Thanks for that version. If it is ok with you I’m going to “borrow” it!!??

    Reply

    • Andrea
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 23:11:58

      Well thanks so much, glad you enjoyed it! You’re a blogger now, it’s pretty much a virtual soap box! I’ll have to come visit your page and see what all you have to say. I love reading and listening to intelligent, insightful, thoughtful theists. I’m a big fan of examining the way we as individuals and groups perceive and practice our faith, and blogs are certainly a great venue for that. Good luck!!

      Reply

  2. Rusty Southwick
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 03:24:29

    This was rather clever, Andrea. It really hits close to home. It sounds like the ten entitlements, rationalizations, and self-congratulatory accolades, doesn’t it? After all, “commandment” is such a strong word, and we surely wouldn’t want anyone to be offended by it.

    I’ve had discussions with many atheists online, who are quick to paint theists as out-of-touch simpletons, and intellectually inferior. They think relying on additional tools makes a person weaken in their knowledge, as if it somehow dilutes it. On the contrary, leaving open the possibilities of the universe is to expand one’s mind and soul. We discount the unlimited power of the universe at our own peril. Seeking the truth can never be with the caveat that it fall exclusively under the cloak of a materialistic view.

    Ron, welcome aboard Andrea’s blogical paradise here. It’s a no-nonsense forum that tells it like it is. No sugarcoating gets in here… Andrea, I hope you’re able to continue writing much more in the future and get your messages out. Your voice needs to be heard. I like your blog because you say some of the same types of things I occasionally try to say in my blog, but from your own unique perspective, which is always refreshing. You sound like you would make a good preacher. Your sermons would surely be interesting…

    I seem to forever be in draft mode on my blog too. I have about twenty posts that are about 75% done, but not quite ready to come out of the oven yet. Maybe we should trade some of our partially done ones and see what the other can do with them, eh?

    Kudos, Rusty

    Reply

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